The Great Ark Turkey Hunt
by Katea-Nui
Summary: It's Thanksgiving at the Ark and Jazz has something different than the usual party planned for their first Thanksgiving.  Needless to say, there are some mechs who are absolutely giddy... and one who isn't about to go down without a fight! HiWtHi run off.
1. What's a Turkey?

**Hey everybody! Happy Thanksgiving! Thought I would do a small Thanksgiving fic for the holidays. Well, here it is, The Great Ark Turkey Hunt! I had so much fun with this. This is not done by a long shot, seeing as there are four parts to this and you only have the first. Sorry I couldn't have it ALL for you by today, but you get the prologue! I hope you enjoy. I know I did while imagining and writing this XD**

**Eventual Twins/Ratchet. NC-17 Sticky fic in later chapters ;)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine and never will be... damn.**

**Enjoy~ And Happy Turkey Day XDD**

**A run off of HiWtHi. Takes place during their first year on Earth.**

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><p><strong>They Call it Thanksgiving...<strong>

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><p>"And humans… eat these things?" Bumblebee asked, his helm cocked to one side in that ridiculously adorable look only he, Bluestreak and Fireflight ever seemed to pull off well.<p>

The saboteur grinned widely while still showcasing his finding to the small group in the refectory. "Ye-up"

"They eat flightless birds? Aren't they, I don't know, endangered or something?" Bluestreak's optics flashed in confusion.

Sideswipe grinned widely from his position perched over his brother's shoulder. "Nah, mech, that's pinglins."

"Penguins, bit-brain. _Penguins_." Said brother corrected, the younger, golden plated twin scratching at an invisible blemish in his otherwise pristine paint.

The elder crimson plated twin shrugged. "Whatever."

"So this is a penguin?" Bluestreak frowned at the picture. "The tail certainly has pretty colors in it, although it's face –that is it's face, right? – is kinda gross looking. I wonder what that red thing on it's beak is for… I heard for some birds things like this are used to attract mates, but that goes back to what I said about their faces. Then again, maybe they're to distract potential mates from their faces in the first place and –"

The grey gunner cut himself off as the picture of the strange bird was shoved in his face and he took it to study it more closely, Hound leaning in over his shoulder to look as well. Beside the tracker, Mirage just rolled his optics.

Seizing the chance he'd created, Jazz spoke up. "Not a penguin, Blue. This here's called a turkey."

"A turkey?" Now Beachcomber was leaning in on Blue's other shoulder to see. "Crazy."

Jazz grinned. "Ah have it on good word that in tow days from now, Earth time, there's gonna be a holiday that the humans celebrate in this country every year. They call it Thanksgiving."

"Thanksgiving?"

Wheeljack, sitting on Jazz's left suddenly cut in excitedly. "Hey, I've been studying that. It's a time that the people in America have set aside to celebrate the pilgrims landing on Plymouth Rock and making peace with the natives by celebrating with a huge feast. The Natives hunted and farmed and in return, the pilgrims prepared the feast… or that's one of the accounts at any rate, there are many more out there. The main moral of the story is giving thanks. It's celebrated in a few other countries too for the moral of the holiday, but I couldn't tell which ones off the top of my processors."

"So what's up with the bird?" Sunstreaker's own curiosity was poorly disguised despite the disgusted grimace on his faceplates when he got his own chance to view the photo.

Jazz, having been pouting at being interrupted and beaten to the impromptu history lesson, grinned widely again. "Okay, so ya know how OP has been pushin' for the learnin' human cultures and what not?" He waited until he received nods from his audience. "Well, Ah just finished discussin' wit him this particular holiday and –"

"You got us permission for a party?" Sideswipe asked eagerly, practically draping himself over his brother now.

The TIC held up his servos. "Let me finish. Anyways, ah was discussin' how we should take part in this holiday, 'giving thanks' and all, and he was all on board wit it. The only thing is, he's not too keen on another party with the D-cons being all quiet and all. So ah came up wit a better idea!"

"Oh?" Now Mirage's interest was piqued. Jazz had some outrageous ideas sometimes, but the glint he had caught in his visor this time around usually meant there was going to be something fun on the table.

If it were possible, the grin only managed to get bigger. "A Turkey Hunt."

All but Hound looked intrigued at the idea. The green armored tracker looked distinctly horrified.

"Do we really have to hunt down one of these?" He asked, the thought of killing something so interesting and very much _alive_ making him feel sick.

Jazz actually laughed. "Nah, don't worry about it Hound! What would we do with one? Eat it?" That garnered a chorus of snickers from his eagerly listening group. "Ah say Turkey hunt, but really, it's more of a mech hunt."

"We're listening." Bumblebee urged, leaning in, Bluestreak following suit.

The saboteur was giddy with excitement now as he sold his idea to the eagerly listening mechs, while resisting the urge to take and image capture. Even Sunstreaker was looking adorably naïve caught up in the moment as he was. "Well, we pick one mech to be our 'Turkey' and those who are gonna join in get to 'hunt' the 'Turkey' and the mech or mechs at the end of the day to have captured the 'Turkey' are our winners. One week free of duty shifts! Ah already cleared it with Prime."

Eager grins around the table and he knew he had them hook line and sinker… Whatever that meant.

"So who's the 'Turkey' and how do we judge the winner?" Mirage questioned.

"Ah, ah, ah! Tha's fer meh to know and ya to find out! Prime, Prowler and I will be yer judges, unless Jackie wants ta be one too."

"Count me in. Don't thing I have it in me to go on a hunt. I think I'd more likely end up in the medical bay with Ratchet yelling at me again and missing out on all the fun."

Now there was an idea and Jazz could imagine that had he been in a human cartoon a lightbulb would have just flared on above his helm. "Well then, we have our judges and we announce tomorrow the 'Turkey Hunt' and the rules." Jazz grinned. "Gentlemechs, may the best bot win!"

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think? Enough of a teaser for ya? ;)<strong>


	2. The chase begins!

**Part Two of The Great Ark Turkey Hunt! Not much other than a little chase anticipation building. Don't worry. It'll get better. Also, rating's changed cause they're refusing to smut on me, but this is still very much Twins/Ratchet. XD**

**Look at me! Getting my mojo back!**

**Disclaimer:... I don't wanna give em' up... but I have to. they're not mine! WHY D:!**

**Enjoy~**

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><p>Ratchet grinned widely when Wheeljack told him what Jazz was proposing.<p>

"Really?" He chuckled when his friend had finished. "And he wants my help, why?"

"I think that's half my fault."

"I'll believe that."

The inventor's helm fins lit in a mute apology, although it didn't look as if Ratchet cared too much. As far as he could tell, the CMO was looking to dish out some payback for all of the aggravation the mechs of the Ark tended to inflict with their thoughtlessness.

"So, what does Jazz want me to do?"

Wheeljack leaned in to whisper in his friend's audio. A big, slag eating grin spread over Ratchet's faceplates. "Tell him he's got deal if he can nab me some of Prowl's good stuff."

The CME's helm tipped to the side, his helm fins blinking in random colors. It was obvious to those who knew his mannerisms that Wheeljack was having an internal conversation on his comm.

"He says deal."

The grin on Ratchet's face grew bigger and he leaned back against his desk, arms crossed. "So. Why me?" There was another internal conversation, followed by an amused chuckle.

"Something about not playing favorites and you knowing how to make a challenge challenging." The inventor's helm fins flashed a humored yellow. "I tend to agree."

"Well, I _am_ the definition of challenging."

Wheeljack snickered. "You would have to be with lovers like yours, Ratch."

"The Twins have nothing to do with this."

"You're right. You were this thick helmed ever since our younger years. Even in the academy. You've always been a slagger. Old habits die hard?"

Ratchet's face became completely serious. "Damn straight."

Wheeljack's laughter could be heard outside the medbay and all the way to the end of the hall.

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><p><em><strong>:: Alright gentlemechs! Today is officially what the humans call Thanksgiving!::<strong> Blaster's voice was cheerful and full of glee as he spoke of Teletran's comm. system. **:: There are three groups as follows and there are different rules for each one!**_

_**First group is our Indians: Indians are allowed on the Ark premises only. Outside is off limits and the base has been put in lockdown to guarantee that all groups adhere to this rule. Any trap is welcomed, as long as it doesn't cause injury to our 'turkey' or other members of the Ark! Teams are also allowed, but no more than three to a group, please. Rooms that are off limits include the storage halls A thru C, the Security Room, Wheeljack and Perceptor's respective labs and the Officer's deck. Personal quarters are also off limits and all participant doors have been locked down to ensure equal play. Medbay is allowed, but only one group at a time to make sure the medical bay is clear in case of emergency.**_

_**Our Second Group is our Pilgrims or our audience: Pilgrims, please remain in the rec room to avoid confusion. Pilgrims are not allowed to give hints to our Indians on the whereabouts of the Turkey should they know. Other than that, everything else is to proceed like normal.**_

_**Our Third and last group are our Judges: They will be monitoring the goings on from the Security Room to make sure everything stays fair. Judges names will be unknown as well as our Turkey. Shift changes will ensure that judges remain different and unbiased as well as mysterious. Former judges, you are not allowed to admit you were a judge or who is replacing you. Also, our judges will consist of Pilgrims only.**_

_**Breaking rules will result in a duration of a stay in the brig to make sure no further rules are broken. The turkey is allowed to fight back, and the Turkey is willing.**_

_**That being said, no area is off limits to the turkey other than personal quarters and offices. Safe zones are those off limits to hunters, but there is a two minute time max for each stay. The Turkey is marked, but I won't say how. **_

_**The prize for the winner or winners is one week no shifts.**_

_**Last, if the Turkey makes it the entire day without being caught, the prize is theirs.**_

_**Have at 'em, Blaster out::**_

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><p>Smokescreen grinned as he tossed his hand in and collected his winnings. "Sounds like it's starting."<p>

Trailbreaker smirked, shaking his head and trying to calculate his losses. They were in the negatives numbers. "Sounds like it."

"Do we know who's in?" Brawn asked, frowning at the growing pile in front of Smokescreen.

The Datsun shrugged. "The Twins are for sure. I think Bluestreak and Fireflight wanted to give it a go…" There was a small wave of laughter that traveled around the table at that. "Then there was Blades, Slingshot and I'm pretty sure Slingshot dragged in Skydive. Who dragged in Air Raid…"

"No Silverbolt?" Hound grinned, in a good mood and just having joined the game, therefore not losing anything. Yet.

"Not this time."

"He could be the Turkey…"

"They wouldn't allow that. Poor 'Bolt can't lie, and his gestalt would know almost immediately if that were the case."

"True."

"Cliffjumper and Huffer are Hunters… I think Gears got dragged along too."

"Poor Gears." Bumblebee grinned from the next table over.

"Yeah. Poor Gears." Trailbreaker grinned as well.

"And nobot knows who the Turkey is?" Hound asked curiously, glancing at his friend-not-quite-lover sitting across from Bee as Trailbreaker dealed the cards for the next round.

"Don't look at me, Hound." The noble mech replied. "Jazz didn't spill the beans this time."

"You aren't going in?"

"Yeah, seems like your kinda thing Mirage. The whole hunting and catching…" Smokescreen supplied with a half smirk, arranging the cards he'd been dealt before laying down his first bet.

Mirage gave him a critical stare. "And run around the Ark chasing another mech who Jazz has placed bets on to win this? No thank you. I don't make stupid bets myself."

There was a chuckle. "That is true. Jazz placed a bet with the Turkey this morning."

"Now I'm scared." Trailbreaker laughed.

"So, Brawn." Smokescreen chuckled, passing his turn over. "That answer your question?"

"Actually," Brawn laughed. "I meant who was still in the game."

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><p>"So we have absolutely no ideas as to who could be the Turkey." Sideswipe concluded.<p>

"Nope." Sunstreaker agreed, scowling. Just _how_ had his brother convinced him to do this again?

Oh, right.

He'd taken all his wax and hidden it. Even with the twin bond, he had no way of finding his wax if his brother didn't want him to. Frag it.

"And knowing Jazz, he's going to make this difficult."

"Yep."

"So let's go through the list. Mechs we know wouldn't be the Turkey."

Sunstreaker frowned as he thought about it. "Well, Prime would be out, if only because he's more likely to be noticed if he were."

Sideswipe nodded his agreement. "True. Wheeljack already voted out as a pilgrim. So we're out of luck there… Plus I don't think Prowl would be too thrilled if 'Jack exploded or something."

That caused both of them to snigger. Really the idea was amusing and Sunstreaker could already feel Sideswipe scheming. He made a mental note to not be on base when things went boom. "Alright, and we know Prowl is out. Red Alert, there's no way. He'd fry circuits if bots suddenly started chasing him."

"I don't think he'd last ten seconds out of the Security room and that's off limits." Sideswipe added.

"True."

"What about Ratchet?"

Sunstreaker snorted. "Yeah right. He wouldn't leave the medbay just to run around getting chased."

"Good point."

There was silence as they trudged along before both sighed at the same time.

Sideswipe spoke first. "This is going to be harder than we thought…"

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><p><strong>Again, reviews make me happy ^^<strong>


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